AARP...and Me

 

Not only do we baby boomers have our own generational title, we have our own organization developed for us based solely on one factor…our age!  Yep, whoever you are, wherever you are, if you are over fifty, you can join the AARP.  You can join for sixteen dollars a year…that’s of course only 1.33333333333333333333 dollars per month.

 

I have not researched the fact, but I feel fairly confident to say there is no other organization you can join for only this much money.  How can they afford this?  The answer is simple:

 

37 million members. 

  

Yikes!!!  That’s a lot of old people.  A virtual tsunami of walkers, prescriptions, and early bird dinners!  And I haven’t even joined yet, in spite of the enticing mailings I get nearly every week.  I don’t think they are missing me...let’s do the math.

37,000,000 X $1.33 = $492,100.00 (+) per month.

 

Or

 

$5,904,000 per year.

 

For some reason, this seems like a lot of money to me…nearly six million dollars.  What do we get for a membership?  A magazine, I know.  A very beautiful and informative website.  A lot of mailings.

 

The rest depends on who’s running this show.  They are a non-profit organization…they are world-wide…they are hard to track down I’m sure.  I am wondering if they put money into all of the discounts and package deals they offer and collaborate with all the vendors and service providers they promote.  It seems like they must.  But I have to wonder how much money is spent on promotions, mailings, and the website, to entice people to join, to get more money to spend on promotions, mailings and the website, to...well, you get the idea. 

  

I have avoided joining so far, as I did not want to identify myself as an old person, and in fact, am not a retired person.  I probably won’t be retired for a long time, so maybe I am not a good candidate.  But now that I have embraced my Baby Boomerness, maybe I will join.

  

I looked at the website for a while to “get a feel” of what they are all about.  It is a really comprehensive website, fairly appealing, and easy to maneuver…(for us old people).

 

Here is some of the information that jumped out at me:

 

• HEALTH:  Under “9 Health Problems” – Smelly Feet – they inform us that “what it is”…is exactly what you think.  Whew!  Glad to know that.  If at this stage of your life you have not figured out what to do about smelly feet, they offer some rather good suggestions.
• FOOD:  Under 16 Superfoods for a Longer, Healthier Life…they tell us the same 16 foods we have heard about from a million places.  Then, right next to it, is an ad so we can get a free donut at Dunkin Donuts every month with one large drink.  Hey, if we get that donut, we can join AARP for free almost.
• TRAVEL:  (this was the one I liked)  Go Wild – Really Wild! – in Las Vegas.  Now they’re talkin…because if I go to Las Vegas, I definitely intend to go more then a little wild.  On the other hand, on this same page, there is also advice on “Foods to Avoid Before Boarding a Plane”.  For some reason, this seems like a bit of a contradiction to me.  If I have to avoid flatulence producing foods before I get on the plane, how am I ever going to go wild once I get there?  I need to go back and read more. 

I think I will join the AARP, mostly because they won’t let me join the Girl Scouts, and I don’t get much mail lately as I do everything on my computer.  Then I can do more research.  And I will know what to do if I have particularly smelly feet at certain times.

 

So please don’t let them know I wrote this controversial piece about their organization, they may blacklist me…and that would be really depressing as I need to know about that wild in Las Vegas thing!